Candy Sleuth T-Shirts

"Watson, look. Skittles!"

Revenge of the Jelly Mother.

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

"Dessert?""No thanks, I'm stuffed."

'Of course it's safe. It has no preservatives, no additives, no artificial coloring...'

"The best thing about this, is the lovely honeycomb centre."

'Guess how many I ATE.'

"Since you're going to the dentist, I bought you a giant lollipop to go out in style."

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

'What can you get with a quarter?'

Secret sweetie drawer...

"Don't take the ones with teeth marks. They've got hard centres ."

'See, Dad. I told you these gummy worms would work.'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'No, you can't have a stick of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerrychwrudobwllanstisiliogogogoch rock. I'll get you on in Rhyl.'

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

Missing Easter Egg

'Lucky for us, there's a sucker born every minute.'

'Never accept the first offer, always hold out for more.'

Who stole my candy?

How Piñatas Are Born

No such thing as a chocolate overdose!

'There's no mention of stuffing. Keep going until you get to the sugar and spice.'

"I love this ghost costume because it covers this costume. I remove it and go back for seconds!"

The Birthday Mafia Sends a message.

'Another sad case of an over dose on uncut sugar cereal.'

Piñata Walk

'Imagine that in gummi!'

"My Mom says that's what happens if you eat too much Halloween candy."

"Ask Mom for Sweet Chunk Cookies. If she says no, ask Grandma."

The Candy Shop. Anytime I eat candy it immediately goes to my mid-section. No time to waist!

Bubble gum kid