Candor Champion Pillows

"We rarely watch television. Most of our free time is devoted to sex."

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

One man's obstacle is another man's stepping stone.

Cheese

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

'Minyan Man! You've saved the day again!'

"I know you're scared, but you can do this! Remember that time I had to clean up after you and I didn't have a bag and had to use leaves?! I was so afraid, but I did it…"

Mountain climbers face a closed route.

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

'How do you like your steaks? Scorched, burnt or cremated?'

An angry barbecue.

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

The nonprofit dog fight.

"We could have saved time and just served the served the charcoal briquettes."

"Nice hopping. Now what?"

Climbing the mountain up towards business opportunities.

Responsibility

'All his life, Mel has been convinced that he's a poster boy for something... he's just never been able to figure out what, exactly.'

Contest to enter the University

'I can see you're going to be a bit of a challenge.'

'I got this one from my son who made it at camp.'

Man wearing 'Save the whale, rainforst,legalise pot..' t shirt "I think you need to be more focussed."

"I hear we went platinum."

University of Adversity.

"We have a problem. It's called the competition."

"Save ALL animals, you bastard!"

"Ha ha, very funny. But seriously … there’s a pub at the top?"

The Cheddar College for Extra Mature Students

"Tighten the bolts and slap some more boilerplate on this report, Mike. It's got candor leaking out in a dozen places!"

'I'm doing a 'Win a Date with a Computer Geek' contest on my website.'

'We've won a free trip to the mountains.'

'Well, once it's won the prize for Biggest Marrow I shall expect you to replace my fence!'