Candlelight Reader Gifts

The Politician.

"I'm just saying. This would be even MORE romantic if we couldn't see in the dark."

Hildegard von Bingen

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'Your night writing book, madam.'

'And I love you too, darling, but there's the lust to think of.'

Heart to heart talk.

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

"My Tia Carmen keeps this shrine..."

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

'You know what would be really romantic? If, just for once, you sat at the tap end.'

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."

"I just love candle-lit dinners."

"Did the cow that jumped over the moon have NASA funding?"

The Fuse

'With our romantic candlelight dinner, I'm obligated to include a safe-sex warning.'

"How can back to back be your favourite position?"

Nocturne

"It says here we should get a lodger."

"My wife, my best friend and our prenup!"

A shark is reading a book entitled 'Swimming with the lawyers'.

'I called the electric company and told them not to hurry to restore power.'

"Lost all track fo time with you. 93 unread messages!"

Candlelight

'Was it good for you?' 'I haven't finished yet!'

'Shhhhh...He's preparing for the holiday season.'

' Well..She did it to me again.'

The Invention of Reading in Bed.

"How's your beer coming, Eddie?"

Fifty Shades of Yellow

'I'm a vestal virgin.'

"It's a terrible hiccup you got there. . . let me help you.. I made a dent in the car today!"

...I'm here at the gruesome scene now. Yes, what began as a candlelight vigil,ended in mass tragedy when the thousands of moths in attendance became inexplicably drawn to each other's flames.