Candlelight Dinner Adventurer Pillows

"What are you doing?!"

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"I'm just saying. This would be even MORE romantic if we couldn't see in the dark."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"They haven't mated yet, but I think we're getting close."

"Darling, you never let me see the side of you that pays."

'And I love you too, darling, but there's the lust to think of.'

At a secluded, candle-lit dinner, love rears its ugly head.

Sorry, I can't talk right now, I'm giving my baby a bottle.

Honey are you in the mood to fleece a cow tonight

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

Heart to heart talk.

'How was the squid?'

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

'Okay, so it's not a violin, but he is playing our song.'

"A table in Siberia, please."

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

Suddenly it occurred to Justin that rose petals might have been more romantic.

"This is all very romantic, but I can't see my fork."

'Your bill sir.'

"Is this the wine you selected at random?"

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

'There's nothing romantic about not being able to mend a fuse at your age!'

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiters attention."

"You didn't say 'excellent choice' when I ordered! What did I do wrong?"

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"Oh, we've been a theme restaurant for about a month now."

Earth Hour will show our leaders the light about saving the planet by keeping everyone in the dark...

"We call this Casual/Retro dining. You get up and make your own PB&J back in the kitchen."

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

Valentine's Day calls for a romantic candlelight dinner and soft music. Then a trip back to my place for some heavy groping and groaning.