Candlelight Dinner Adventurer Pillows

"What are you doing?!"

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"I'm just saying. This would be even MORE romantic if we couldn't see in the dark."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"They haven't mated yet, but I think we're getting close."

'And I love you too, darling, but there's the lust to think of.'

"Darling, you never let me see the side of you that pays."

At a secluded, candle-lit dinner, love rears its ugly head.

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

Honey are you in the mood to fleece a cow tonight

Heart to heart talk.

Sorry, I can't talk right now, I'm giving my baby a bottle.

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

'How was the squid?'

"A table in Siberia, please."

'Okay, so it's not a violin, but he is playing our song.'

Who had the cod, and who had the flying fish?

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

Suddenly it occurred to Justin that rose petals might have been more romantic.

'Your bill sir.'

Today: Tomato Surprise. Of course the tomato surprise doesn't impress you, sir … You’re not a tomato.

"This is all very romantic, but I can't see my fork."

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

"Is this the wine you selected at random?"

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

"You didn't say 'excellent choice' when I ordered! What did I do wrong?"

"Oh, we've been a theme restaurant for about a month now."

Earth Hour will show our leaders the light about saving the planet by keeping everyone in the dark...

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiters attention."

"We call this Casual/Retro dining. You get up and make your own PB&J back in the kitchen."

Valentine's Day calls for a romantic candlelight dinner and soft music. Then a trip back to my place for some heavy groping and groaning.

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"