Candlelight Dinner Gifts

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"I'm just saying. This would be even MORE romantic if we couldn't see in the dark."

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"They haven't mated yet, but I think we're getting close."

'And I love you too, darling, but there's the lust to think of.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"Darling, you never let me see the side of you that pays."

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

'S'more wine?'

'How wonderful, playing our song - astronauts, fly me to the moon.'

Sorry, I can't talk right now, I'm giving my baby a bottle.

Heart to heart talk.

At a secluded, candle-lit dinner, love rears its ugly head.

Honey are you in the mood to fleece a cow tonight

'Hey Babe - 7:30 sharp, don't be late...I'm preparing you a meal...'

'And I think you'll find something extra in your dessert, Hon.'

'Norbert, he's playing our ring tone.'

"Linguini for two?"

'Tartar sauce?! Heavens no. My dentist would kill me.'

"Now let's share a moment of silence in memory of our portfolio."

Suddenly it occurred to Justin that rose petals might have been more romantic.

'Do you have anything cheap but guaranteed to help me get laid?'

"This is all very romantic, but I can't see my fork."

'The bloke with violin is on holiday.'

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

"I do love you, Robin, but I'm not sure I'm ready for a full-on commitment yet."

'A jug of wine, a loaf of bread, and thou - apparently in that order!'

"Are there any reports of illness at this table?"

Candlelight

Earth Hour will show our leaders the light about saving the planet by keeping everyone in the dark...

Valentine's Day calls for a romantic candlelight dinner and soft music. Then a trip back to my place for some heavy groping and groaning.

'There's nothing romantic about not being able to mend a fuse at your age!'

"I know you're angry when you cross your arms."

'I called the electric company and told them not to hurry to restore power.'