Canals Pillows

'No Jean, hardly anyone stops to watch us operate the locks any more since Reg introduced his 'pay to view' system...'

"I treated myself to a barge pole. I thought I'd push the boat out."

Sea Link, Seal Ink

'Don't ask me why but he feels a great deal of pride in calling it his 'man-cave'.'

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

Mr. Punch in Venice

He looks so natural lying there...

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

'He loved that dog.'

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

The discovery of electricity...

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."

'This cave is really damp... and squidgy underfoot'

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

'He's a conspiracy theorist - he refuses to believe that Great Aunt Mildred is really dead.'

Bats with blankets.

"Only 10,000 more years and we'll be together forever, my darling."

"Time passes much more slowly in the other dimension, so take these sudokus."

'I just have an eerie feeling about this cave.'

"Gesundheit!"

'He always said he wouldn't be seen dead with his shirt outside his trousers - he'll be livid.'

'Daddy's busy - Go draw on the wall.'

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

"You must forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles... Does the best man have the ring?"

'Miss Wilson, get on the web and find me everything on bottles!'

"It looks as if Bodecker's project has gotten completely out of hand."

A dead business executive is lowered into the grave with his desk

Dead Man's Handel

"I know I agreed to hold a funeral for Wendy's goldfish...but did she have to ask Reverend Clark to officiate?"

A signaller directing pallbearers

Undertaker's Flower Box.

After years of pointless therapy, Morris took up speleology and finally found himself.