Can Opener Challenger Pillows

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

Lawnmower

Mental Health System Breakdown

Suddenly Paul realised that HE had been the odd one out all along.

Choice hellhole

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

'We could make a fortune teaching Parkour you know...'

Earl and Lance struggle with their new invention, Chessers."

Police Shootings: Searching for justice

'How do you propose to repair the roof from down there?!'

"Alien life-form or not, those dishes won't wash themselves up!"

'...and when I did finally take out the trash, she locked the door behind me.'

'By the way, no one has ever beaten me and lived to tell about it.'

'Sorry...I don't do hugs!'

'Young lady, you're not going anywhere until you clean your lint trap!'

Business men line up at the police station

'What's going on here? What you see is what I get, and what I see is what you get.'

New claims that GPs health damaged by government bureaucracy.

Spring cleaning.

Fred N. Smith: Bureaucrat, Public Servant, Whistle-Blower.

Selling Justice

"The good news is your husband is covered by insurance....The bad news is he suffered a mental breakdown from the registration process."

A man walks with a dog who has learnt to scoop his own poop.

"He won't wait for me to open the can."

'This is Hugh from PrivateMeds Inc. he's looking around the hospital...'

"The world needs revolutionaries...people who challenge the system, who question authority, who aren't afraid to say, 'I won't take anymore!'"

In case of computer breakdown break glass

"I just want Velveetaaaaaaa!"

'Online dating is rubbish. I've written to 20 women and not ONE has replied.' 'At least you're being spurned in the comfort of your own home.'