Campus Life Commentator Pillows

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

'Thirty years in academia and all I got was this chair.'

"What did you study in school today, Gracie?"

Scenes we'd most like to see...

"If what you don't know can't hurt you, I'm safe from math, English, history, and science."

"First period music always leaves me with a tune stuck in my head for the rest of the day."

"I'm holding George back this year because he's failed to forge a personal style."

"Graduates, faculty, parents, creditors..."

'Dude, you gotta lay off the Mac n' Cheese!'

"I've got news for you. Kids don't have a union and doing your homework is not negotiable."

'When I was your age, an 'A' did not stand for 'adequate'.'

Taser incident.

"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""

'Today I have dumbed-down philosophy, followed by dumbed-down chemistry and dumbed-down English lit.'

Philosophy Department: You are Here...But why?

Trouble at med school - "Gosh, it's already my third day and I'm still sober."

"So how's that math grade looking? What's the team GPA this year?"

"The good news is that the Remedial Learning Program is more popular than ever, which is also the bad news."

"There was a time when only the rich went to university... now even they can't afford it."

Canine Frat Parties

Campus police are dorm troopers.

"That's the famous Josh—a high-impact body harboring a very low-impact mind."

The cost of education