Campus Life Comedian Pillows

'Dude, you gotta lay off the Mac n' Cheese!'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

Don't you hate...

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

'Thirty years in academia and all I got was this chair.'

Scientists continue their research on the Hippocampus.

"What did you study in school today, Gracie?"

College of Liberal (not in the political snese) arts.

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"

"Mom, Dad, college changed me."

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

'I suspected hackers when it accepted all the student scholarship applications.'

'I'm at that awkward age when I can't read my own handwriting. Do they teach penmanship in college?'

'So, in college what did you major in' - 'Business poetry.'

That's Roderick Sloan, the Alvin Meriwether professor of business administration, and with him is Alvin Meriwether, the Roderick Sloan professor of economics.

'When I was your age, an 'A' did not stand for 'adequate'.'

"I've got news for you. Kids don't have a union and doing your homework is not negotiable."

'Nots so hot on my SATS, but I aced my STDS.'

Undergraduate and don

"Don’t you just love professor Dahl’s lectures on Tibetan rawhide?"

"I have to read this disclaimer: Any opinions expressed in this course belong to the professor and do not necessarily mean the university is left-wing."

We have too many students! I know. Send them home!

"I can't wait to get home and insult my parents from a position of authority."

"It's this marvelous little liberal-arts college in Kansas that gives frequent-flier miles."

"I was just transferred to the fraternity word."

"I'm bad with languages. The only foreign sounding phrase I know is crack-a-brewski."