Campaign Maestro T-Shirts

No Electioneering Beyond this Point

"Good boy."

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

'If only every year was an election year.'

Political convention

An informed voter is a good voter

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

Elections

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

'Son, voting isn't a rational procedure by which one strategically selects an electable candidate who will best serve your interests. Voting is an emotional response to your gut level fears!'

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).

'What's the difference? Some people call it privatizing government. Others call it super pacs buying congressmen.'

"I didn't get where I am by trying to please."

I want to be a politician when I grow up...

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

The following is a paid political announcement.

2020 Republican Party National Convention

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

'Confusing, dangerous times call for confusing, dangerous leadership!'

'The candidates campaign promises have been re-named campaign ideas to avoid lawsuits.'

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

America's funniest election gaffes

With no clear winner, the debate ended in a tie breaker.

Election 2020

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."

'Mark my words! Our enemies will test this young guy with a huge international crisis as soon as he's electe! But don't worry, he'll be fine!', 'Come here, Joe -- let me give you a nice fist bump!'

'Psst! Wanna Buy A Democracy?'

"Do you take dark money?"

SupermarketAwful Market.