Campaign Contributor Gifts

"My fellow-investors..."

Spent it all on the primaries.

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

Political convention

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

Palin 2012

Jerry Brown.

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

Fahrenheit 911.

Tony Blair

'Remember when the worry was over little swift boat attacks?'

"If reelected, this time, I promise not to procrastinate for four years and then try to get all my governing done in one epic all-nighter."

'I know the marketing budget is stretched...but I still think we need professional models!'

Stephen Harper on the attack ads.

Scott Walker keeps his job.

"The last thing that I intend to do is to stand here making a display of my patriotism."

Creative Director skipping through an advertising portfolio.

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

'The press is calling you overconfident. Stop using ‘Hail To The Chief' as your ringtone.'

"We all know the Senator's position regarding term limits."

'Not only have I never been a Congressman, but I've never even set foot in Washington!'

"Hey, bro...it's the least I could do."

"We will remember them."

'Yes, I broke that campaign promise, but it was never NOTARIZED!'

'The terms of my parole make it impossible for me to return to my seat in congress with known criminals.'

'Any Questions?. . . Anyone else?'

Vote Jones, Just for the Hell of it.

So You Wanna Be an Antiwar Progressive Political Star?

'You're offering me a job, eh? -- does it have portable benefits?'

'Well, I see that Senator Zwecklos has found a loophole in the Campaign Finance law.'

TRUMP

Welcome to Washington DC...Beware election year politics.

"No more fake news, alternative facts, or conspiracy theories. If elected, I promise to go back to old-fashioned lying!"

"Dad has promised that if he becomes President, we'll get a dog."