Calm Living Pillows

'I'm drowning in a sea of tranquility.'

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

Meditation

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

Need an elevated state of mind too!

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

She required plenty of personal space.

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

'I can remember when no one had even heard of t'ai chi.'

"Remember, Mort: Courage isn't the absence of fear. Courage is remaining media-savvy in the face of fear!"

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

Enlightened Cursing

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

"You can tell us the sound of one hand clapping here, or you can tell us downtown."

'Calm down darling... now what do you mean the tortoise has gone berserk?'

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

'I feel wired. I want to feel wireless.'

'Taking the anger management class has made you uncharacteristically nice, sir.'

Sea of Tranquillity

'Remember, son. A winner is one who can keep his head while all around him are losing theirs.'

Sinking cruise ship, with band member saved by floating on cello.

Tai Chi vs. Chai Tea

'Only one side effect - colossal pain...'

"Oh, you mellow with age alright: I even like the postman now..."

'I wish I could be as calm as JB when it comes to making decisions.'

'The therapy is working... I don't use all caps in emails anymore.'

Chameleon. Calmer Chameleon. Calmer Calmer Calmer Calmer Calmer Chameleon.

"This is sheer bloody mindfulness."

"No matter how dire the problem...no more memos that start with 'YIKES!'"

"My philosophy has always been 'Don't sweat the small stuff -- it's all small stuff!'"

"Come and get me, coppers!"

Dog Owner.