Call Centers Prints

"I'm not angry with you, I'm angry with life!"

Thank you for calling technical support.

"OMG! You're still there! I'm going to have to out you on hold again while I figure out another way to get rid of you."

'I got into telemarketing because I have a hard time maintaining eye contact when making a sale.'

"Thank you, have a relatively wonderful day!"

"North Pole gift order line. How may I help you?"

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

'We no longer handle the contracting out part. We contract that out.'

"Your call is important to us..."

24 Hour Customer Service: "We cannot offer you customer service - it's been well over 24 hours since you opened your account with us."

"I try to provide soothing customer service, but no, I'm not going to sing you to sleep at night."

"Your estimated wait time is 20 minutes...1 hour and 45 minutes in dog time."

"Your opinion is very important to us. And yes, we're using the royal we and no, we're not being serious."

"Please stay on the line for the next available agent - unless, of course, you are feeling tired, very tired, or maybe hungry. . ."

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

'It just dawned on me that every time we make a phone call, it's a robocall.'

"Did you remember to cancel the scam phone calls?"

"I've been kept on hold so often, I'm really developing a taste for easy listening music."

"Thank you for holding. . .Your call is important to us. . .Yeah right."

'I don't want to talk to any flunkies. Put me straight through to the computer.'

"Hello?"

'If you want to hear the ocean, press one.'

The Communicator

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

'I hate my life.

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"