Call Centers Gifts

"I'm not angry with you, I'm angry with life!"

Smooth Operators - Mission Statement.

Thank you for calling technical support.

"OMG! You're still there! I'm going to have to out you on hold again while I figure out another way to get rid of you."

'I got into telemarketing because I have a hard time maintaining eye contact when making a sale.'

"Thank you, have a relatively wonderful day!"

"North Pole gift order line. How may I help you?"

'Is this a bad time?'

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

'We no longer handle the contracting out part. We contract that out.'

"Your call is important to us..."

24 Hour Customer Service: "We cannot offer you customer service - it's been well over 24 hours since you opened your account with us."

"I try to provide soothing customer service, but no, I'm not going to sing you to sleep at night."

"Your estimated wait time is 20 minutes...1 hour and 45 minutes in dog time."

"Your opinion is very important to us. And yes, we're using the royal we and no, we're not being serious."

"Please stay on the line for the next available agent - unless, of course, you are feeling tired, very tired, or maybe hungry. . ."

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

Smoking Area. Oh, I don't smoke. I'm just addicted to ten-minute breaks.

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

"911, what is your major malfunction?"

"Did you remember to cancel the scam phone calls?"

'It just dawned on me that every time we make a phone call, it's a robocall.'

'I don't want to talk to any flunkies. Put me straight through to the computer.'

"Hello?"

'If you want to hear the ocean, press one.'

"I've been kept on hold so often, I'm really developing a taste for easy listening music."

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

The Communicator