Call Center Humor Appreciator Pillows

'You are through to 24/7 support...our helpline times are between 8am and 7pm.'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

Research and Development: Now, Never.

'Hey! I sad, 'You've got mail!''

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

"Well, let's quickly put Ken's incredibly incendiary remarks behind us and hopefully continue the discussion in a simmering rage."

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

"Looks like our days at the think tank are numbered."

Cell Bar & Grill. Happy Hour All Day. The new owner is an endorphin.

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

'Boss, it seems like a friendly text, but you've got to learn to read between the emoticons.'

Management Reshuffle

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

Dog to hirer: 'I'm a mongrel, and I'll work like one.'

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

'Being taller than me will get you nowhere.'

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

"I have to be honest: the job you're applying for is a real no-brainer. Are you sure you're OK with that?"

We only have two things to fear - fear itself and someone getting a look at our books.

'What's PPI and how did you get this number?'

"It appears they are in no hurry to start negotiating."

'Thanks to his brilliant conversation techniques, Bob had the shortest calls.'

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

"Good: I see you're fluent in nonsense."

'Pay no attention to him. He's just a disgruntled former employee.'

'He's busy right now. I have to put you on hold. Would you like to hear show tunes, classical or easy listening?'

'Your good work leaves me in a splendid position. Isn't that enough reward for you?'

"Ooooh....I'm a naughty girl - I've caught a mouse and now I'm just playing with it..."

Abacus manufacturer waits for virus to destroy computers.

'A bit of shush please, I'm about to write them a damn stiff memo!'