Calendar Planning Gifts

'It doesn't feel like a Tuesday. It feels more like a Thursday.'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

Airlines

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

Mr. Punch in Venice

Friday

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

Italia tours

Heading off with a packed bag

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

Dog admiring hairless dog calendar

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

"I'll be there in three 'All Too Well's."

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

Man on beach realizes laying down flattens his stomach

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

God's Sticky Notes

"I know it’s a challenge, but it needs your input!" "...Your breadth of knowledge of different interest groups, religions...cultures!" "Right, so the staff Christmas meal will be a traditional lacto-vegan one at a Thai restaurant sometime in March?" "Do you think the Pagans will be OK with that?"

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

'We must have everything... this is all that's left!'

A tourist struggling with loads of luggage

"We can't go. We don't have enough carbon offset credits to get to the Grand Canyon."

'Let it go, Amy.'

"Well, all I know is he left on vacation to unwind... and he never wound-up again!"

'The travel agent says there's nothing available on the port side. Do you want me to see if she's got anything on the sherry side?'

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

"What happened to the good old Jewish holidays when all we used to do was eat?"