Calendar Coordinator Pillows

A midwinter potluck! How lovely!! Let me check the calendar! Oh, too bad! Thwack! We already have something on that date!

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Friday

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Ok weekend! I hope you can make up for that awful week!"

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

Dog admiring hairless dog calendar

'Hey, hey, hey!'

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

God's Sticky Notes

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

Appointments and Disappointments

Wisely, many wedding planners are hiring refs to monitor the bouquet toss.

"Damn Pope Gregory and his new calendar."

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

Dog Calenders.

The Aisle

'...Just because you hired me doesn't mean I have to entertain.'

"We're restructuring - Wednesday moves to Friday, Tuesday becomes Wednesday, Monday stays where it is and Thursday and Friday will be merged with the weekend."

"So that's five for bailing, and three for patching. If there are no objections, the chair will now hear arguments."

Talkshow Scheduling Dept. I scheduled a guest how a book advocating a strong military position. You booked a hawk who's hawking a book!

Pregnancy Test

"You owe me £50. I told you that he didn't have the nerve not to turn up!"

Eurocopa 2016

A pirate and a bride

"It's a leap year, so an extra week's added to the calendar."

'I'm afraid turn out isn't as high as we'd expected...three of them misheard the date, five got the time wrong and everyone from marketing went to a hotel in Norwich by mistake.'

Employment Counselor. That's terrible! What kind of company fires you for taking a day off? A calendar company.

A spider meal prepping

"It doesn't work as a novel. But we're willing to publish it as a desk calendar."

"What do you mean hot dog is out sick?—but I'll look stupid all by myself!"