Caffeine-fueled Commentator Pillows

'I may not know a lot about art, but I know how to blog about it.'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

'Cartoonist thinking'

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

A lady playing piano and a man talking to her

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

Sports Radio in Crisis

Tree of Public Opinion.

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

"Can you hear me now?"

Pundits

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

Still Coffee Runs Deep

"Actually, we will replace you."

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

Chess on TV

Chicken standing on a platform on a stage with three horns in front of it and wearing a top hat; a sign on the side of the platform reads "National Endowment for the Arts - Seal of Approval."

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

The United States of Amazement

Surgery is to be encouraged to set up food banks

"This is gonna be great!"

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"