Cafeteria Warrior Pillows

"Will I get extra credit if I agree to eat the cafeteria hash?"

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

Cafe Burns.

Raphnrrf? Raphnrrf? Umpha? Frfee? Maamr? Pick.

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

"I tried to hire a hamburger fry cook from a fast food joint for our cafeteria but he wouldn't take the cut in pay."

Vending machines: Caffeine, Sugar and Carbs.

"My depression is currently being treated with a combination of prescription medication and low-fat frozen yogurt."

"They love me...they really, really love me!"

Super express lane for working mothers only!

High school sophomore Kyle Rimnard tests his theory that cafeteria meatloaf cures acne.

"Don't think you can just put the on the costume and replace Jeff."

The vow of silence. Some days it was really hard to keep.

'Eating again. What's happened to your weight lifting?'

"Oh yes, I proudly served."

Biocafeteraologist

'First you feel shock, then anger, and finally remorse. It's the three stages of grief when buying the tuna sandwich.'

'I burnt my hand in hot water.' - 'Why didn't you feel it before putting your hand in?'

'Too late. The spelling test was first period.'

Wow, you're right! Your mom's regurgitated worms are way better than my mom's!

'What's intravenous feeding? My mom says if I don't eat my vegetables, she'd do that to me!'

'I didn't know it was so dangerous. . . Mac's coffee.'

'C'mon. Just a few counties can't hurt.'

"At last...after so many missed days...so many cruel days apart...we are together once again!"

"Five kids have signed my petition. We'd like to have vegetarian options on the cafeteria menu. To help, I've put together a few recipes of my own."

"Somebody found a finger in a salad?!"

"What is friendship if not constant amateurish psychoanalysis?"

"Well if bread's free, and gravy's free, how about bread and gravy?"