Cafeteria_lady T-Shirts

"Tia Carmen?! What are you doing here?"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

Cafe Burns.

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Raphnrrf? Raphnrrf? Umpha? Frfee? Maamr? Pick.

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

"It's a pumpkin spice latte pie latte."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

'Are you sure you don't have any Indian blood?.'

'You made me jump.'

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

'I don't eat red meat. That's ok, this is gone green.'

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

'I like the look of the sherry trifle.'

"I tried to hire a hamburger fry cook from a fast food joint for our cafeteria but he wouldn't take the cut in pay."

'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday you like beans, now you don't like beans.'

Vending machines: Caffeine, Sugar and Carbs.

"My depression is currently being treated with a combination of prescription medication and low-fat frozen yogurt."

"Don't think you can just put the on the costume and replace Jeff."

The vow of silence. Some days it was really hard to keep.

"Oh yes, I proudly served."

'Eating again. What's happened to your weight lifting?'

Have you ever sued anyone for slander or libel, Randy? Indeed I have, little buddy. It was 1979. Francis Melba stood up in the middle of the cafeteria and accused me - in front of all the other kids - of being "nothing special." So I stood atop my table, ripped my shirt in two, slowly smoothed out my mustache, and then proceeded to flex my pecs, one at a time. HOJ. The sunlight streaming in through the windows scattered off my bouncing pecs like a disco ball. That's when Melba knew he was toast.

Man from 'Environmental Health visits a caf� run by bugs

"They love me...they really, really love me!"

Biocafeteraologist

Storefront reading "Net 'n' Nosh (Formerly Books 'n' Java)"

'First you feel shock, then anger, and finally remorse. It's the three stages of grief when buying the tuna sandwich.'

'I burnt my hand in hot water.' - 'Why didn't you feel it before putting your hand in?'