Cafe Regulars T-Shirts

"It started out as a bun fight then someone started throwing rock cakes."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'Do you have any catsup?'

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

Non-Power Breakfast

National Coffee Day

Tree Cafe; Free Valet Parking

"We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion."

Coffee

'Any chance of a ploughman's?'

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

Choice hellhole

"Come in, minion."

"The WiFi password is: 'buysomethingorgetout'."

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"Boss, remember when you told me to start charging Sadie 'studio fees' for operating her radio show in the cafe?" "Well, I've got good news and bad news." "What's the good?" "She's agreed not to resort to violence." "I see. And the bad news?" "On today's 'Sadie Cohen Radio Show': Evil cafe owners who may or may not poison their customers."

"Why have you doubled the price of oatmeal?"

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

The Deli Llama

'Know something? Love IS wonderful!'

'Careful, this used to be hot.'

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."