Cafe Culture Critic Pillows

'Not really the kind of cafe culture we were hoping to find.'

'Considering how advanced they were it's amazing they never came up with a tall skinny latte.'

No halo, no wings, no service.

Coffee - hot chocolate - nuclear holocaust.

"I'll have a skinny latte..."

"We start with black coffee and then add a lot of stuff so it doesn't taste like black coffee."

"In the future, please order a small black coffee as a petit café noir."

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

National Coffee Day

'Bring me another coffee would you...'

"It's a pumpkin spice latte pie latte."

'How would you like your toast?'

"You want organic, we'll make it organic."

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

Meanwhile at the Cafe de la Mort...

Cafe: 'Soup of the day, Hon, is 'primordial'.'

Alf's Cafe - Egg, Bacon and Tomato Plate, Catering Pack.

Turning around - searching for why hate happens.

"Whole bean or ground relentlessly to dust?"

'Sorry we don't do black decaf.'

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

''Masterpiece Theater' will not be seen tonight, so that we may bring you 'Slushpile Showplace'....'

"The coffee is free, but now we rent the tables."

All Day Deals!

Sign reads: No lingering over a good cup of coffee.

French Street.

'Nobody goes there any more.' - 'It's too crowded.'

'I assume you accept star bucks?'

'Hi, my name's Mandy and I'll be your culturally inappropriate annoyance this evening.'

"Epiphany!!! . . . I'm running the cafe as a communist utopia!...I've charged everyone exactly the same for their muffins, when I should have means-testing. If you can afford to pay $650 for a muffin, well then by Ayn Rand, that's exactly what I should charge you."

The It Tastes Like Cr*p Because Its Healthy Cafe

'So how would you like your coffee...Small, Large or Intravenous???'