Café Culture Commentator Pillows

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'Bring me another coffee would you...'

National Coffee Day

"It's a pumpkin spice latte pie latte."

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

"You want organic, we'll make it organic."

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

'Sorry we don't do black decaf.'

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

Alf's Cafe - Egg, Bacon and Tomato Plate, Catering Pack.

Cafe: 'Soup of the day, Hon, is 'primordial'.'

All Day Deals!

'Nobody goes there any more.' - 'It's too crowded.'

'I assume you accept star bucks?'

Title Page for 'Mrs Grundy'

'Hi, my name's Mandy and I'll be your culturally inappropriate annoyance this evening.'

"That's lovely, dear. Give me a heads-up when manners and intelligence get a little closer."

'The country just may not be ready for patriotic rap.'

Church Open 51 Sundays Per Year, Closed Superbowl Sunday

The It Tastes Like Cr*p Because Its Healthy Cafe

"In the future, please order a small black coffee as a petit café noir."

"Epiphany!!! . . . I'm running the cafe as a communist utopia!...I've charged everyone exactly the same for their muffins, when I should have means-testing. If you can afford to pay $650 for a muffin, well then by Ayn Rand, that's exactly what I should charge you."

"Since he retired, he fills his days complaining about 'woke' television."

'What do you mean you're a vegetarian?'

"Could I have a skinny, half fat caramel infued Americano with a double shot and froth. . . but without the coffee!"