Cafe Culture Connoisseurs Gifts

"Do you realize I haven't had a raise in twelve years?"

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

Wifi in Hell

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

Hats and Food

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

Yummy Mummies

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Raphnrrf? Raphnrrf? Umpha? Frfee? Maamr? Pick.

'Who's the new guy?'

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

"It's a pumpkin spice latte pie latte."

National Coffee Day

'Bring me another coffee would you...'

The Kali De Milo.

'How would you like your toast?'

'Kafka! Kandinsky! Kokoschka!'

'It is so nice to be able to take a break mid trip...'

What's the insect de jour?

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

Antonin Leopold Dvorak

Count Valmont- Proposed Titlepage to 'Les Liasons Dangereuses'

"You have an air of Camille Paglia about you."

"I can't wait for things to get back to normal."

Chinese History: Redwash

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

Meanwhile at the Cafe de la Mort...