Café Visitor Pillows

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

Countervailing Clichés.

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

'You've had enough!'

Coffee Menu

"I'd say business was brisk."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'...and one 'death by chocolate', Sir.'

A sign outside a bookstore reads: "Meet the people in the bookstore cafe staring at their laptops 2-4 p.m."

Hot food cafe open every day except Christmas Day.

'Careful, this used to be hot.'

Waiter thinks drowning man is asking for 5 beers

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

"Let's see, now, that's cappuccino, cappuccino, cappuccino, and cappuccino—right?"

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

Cafe Momus from La Boheme

Lunch

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

'A sandwich?'

Outdoor Dining: Winter Edition

'Dulcifying araneids didn't make them any more sapid.'

Hipster Coffee

How much for a blueberry scone? $3.25. I'll give you $1.20. Huh? $1.40. $1.45. It's not negotiable. Shrewd. $1.65. $2.00. $2.10. $2.25, but I want free shipping! Ebay addicts. $3 for your sandwich. $6.

I know why you're such a greedy, heartless scrooge, Armstrong. It's because deep down, you just want to be loved. But you're afraid of rejection, so you make yourself as unlovable as possible. That's the type of utter nonsense to expect from muscle-bound oaf who hadn't paid his tab in 13 years. I love you too, man. I hope you get audited.

"... Wine list? No, we don't have a wine list! Perhaps I can get sir something from the vending machine?"

Bookstore-Cafe: Used Book/Day-Old Croissants

"Of course, I'm complaining for two now."

'Hi, I'm Leo. How's the food here?'

Accordionist at work and in cafe.

'The doctor says I gotta cut back on caffeine. I'd better skip the bottomless cup of coffee today, Phyllis.'

Wall St. Café, Happy Hour 24-7.