Café Owner T-Shirts

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

Nothing beats the love of a good cat.

'Do you have any catsup?'

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

Fast food. Even faster food

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

Try to guess the continent dining...

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

Today's special... donuts.

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"Those new coffee drones are really starting to get on my nerves."

"This is our soft opening."

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

Hashimoto's Restaurant - Sushi Like Mother Used to Make!

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

Kitchen Kapers