C For Creative Gifts

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy'. You in?"

Woodpecker carving pumpkins

Direct Marketing...

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

Elevator Pitch

I'm not sure which, but he's just invented either writing or vandalism. (Published originally on Feb. 11, 2011.)

"It's been hell since you went into animation."

Target your message

Wordplay: Export.

"Mom, come quick. Dad's in a stupor."

Building Blocks.

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

Punkins

The Sculptor

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

Advertising and PR Agency: 'I'm able to spin at 60 words per minute, hype at 50 words and distort at 45 words.'

'I use these ice cubes to make minor home repairs.'

You can't fool all of the people all of the time, especially with our advertising budget.

"I think I know what your problem is. Not enough PR."

New Ideas in Business.

Brian, I hope you're taking this seriously.

Open Source.

"See! Thousands of new listeners."

'The first thing we will do is select a block captain.'

"Another selfie, Rembrandt?"

"It's a good report, but leave out the link to your Tik Tok dance video."

"You're amazing!"

'Figures can be misleading - So I've written a song which I think expresses the real story of the firms performance this quarter.'

"I appreciate succinct memos, Phillips, but stop writing them all in Haiku!"

'Actually, when I asked you to bring something fresh to the table, I was talking about ideas!'

'Don't jump. It's a book publisher!'