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'Oh, for god's sake just ignore it!'

Girl Band, "I wish you'd tell your mum we don't need her in the group!"

The First Annual Game Show Week.

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

Learn Guitar In 6 Easy Lessons: Add another fifty difficult ones!

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"I find that my strongest passwords are those created when the cat walks across the keyboard."

Dentist Training School.

Beware of the Undergrowth.

'Mr Godzilla - you need anger management!'

"Our driverless smart car texted me saying it went to get an oil change because I was too lazy to do it. Is there a way to disable its rudeness?"

"Of course you feel great. These things are loaded with antidepressants."

Man in office smiling in delight as various office equipment dances for him

Veterinarian at a large animal clinic staring up at a huge beast.

"Dude, you gotta get out here and clean this pool more often."

"He used to fetch my paper, but now that I read online he's my IT support."

'It must be nice having a job where you can work at home.'

'Mary finally solved the blinking clock problem by putting black tape over it.'

'What do you mean, you were here first?'

In case of computer breakdown break glass

The unorganised organiser.

"Just take the crowd out of it. Imagine everyone is naked."

"This one's too smart. Do you have one with only a high school education?"

"There is an easier way to ensure that our pet doesn't get fleas or ticks."

"When was the last time you cleaned the fridge?"

"It keeps people from falling asleep during meetings."

'Yeah, I can remotely disable my computer.'

A man connected to his PC.

Ask about our new p-chip to tune out politics.

Riding with your jacket open in summer is an ideal way to collect wasps,

'Excuse me, could you tell me where the nearest dentist is?'