Buying Property Abroad Gifts

'Bloody Brits.'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

"Someday, son, all this will be yours. It'll be under water, but still ..."

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

"I've just bought five acres of prime oceanfront. Want to help me build on it?"

'Your mortgage is under water...so what's the problem?'

Home Sweet Second Home.

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'They're playing house.'

"I'm looking for something a little more open pan."

"You and your 'Go with the flow.'"

"I told you we should have sold last winter."

'Floodplain close - House on stilts with ladder. Estate Agent saying, 'Welcome onto the property ladder...''

Evergreen Estates

Wait! It might be cheaper to just knock it down and build from scratch.

Monopoly game - "You just gazumped me!"

"I used to live here. Now I make a fortune renting it out on Airbnb."

"Okay, so the current occupants are being tormented by supernatural forces, but they do agree to pay closing costs."

"If a sixth borough opens up, I'll let you know."

Mortgage up: 'Where?.'

"It's got everything: northern exposure, hardwood floors, central tree."

Man with head in ground: 'I'm not burying my head in the sand, I'm doing the coal mining search myself.'

'I'm so glad I moved into this basement flat Mary. It's put me on the property ladder and the neighbours are so friendly!'

Money feeds tree of property

"The meaning of life is location, location, location."