Buying Jewellery Pillows

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

'Go ahead and laugh, but I lose my keys less frequently than you do.'

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

Diamond outfits

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

'We recommend that you get a ring of equal weight for the other hand to prevent improper alignment of your spine.'

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

A Zircon Is Forever

'We would like to buy three rings... Engagement, wedding and teething!'

Lots of shiny glass objects! Darling, you're spoiling me!

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

'I want to finish with him, but I'll have to wait until he's made the final payment on my engagement ring.'

'Or you can rent by the week...'

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

'It's one of our new technology rings, it allows you to download karats.'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

"Next time you meet me dressed as a giant boy, it's going to cost you a pair of diamond earrings."

"It was her mothers"

It is my mother's, she uses it as an anchor for our yacht.

Will you be mine?

'It started with a kiss - then their nose rings got locked.'

Jewellers - "If you really love your wife to be, then money should be no object."

Cow and Milk

Posh Easter Egg

'...And this one comes with a magnifying glass so she can show it off to her friends.'

'And I think you'll find something extra in your dessert, Hon.'

"Jewelry store, visit our ATM."

I think I have a gilt complex.