Buying A Sports Team Pillows

'You will meet a tall, dark and handsome man. He will play forward on the pro-basketball team you've just bought!'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

Football Fans

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Church for sports worshipers.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'OK, everybody, calm down,,,'

"Well, I'm sad for Gloria...she's gonna be bummed out when I'm twice as successful as she is."

"How should we divide the teams?"

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

Raheem Sterling

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

The best PE teacher in the World.

Perils of the double play.

'Best save I've ever seen.'

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

Hockey Season.

'Let's go over our secret play.'

Mohamed Salah

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

Jumping cheerleaders

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

Major Bunker (who has been persuaded to join in a game of hockey for the first time, absent-mindedly preparing to drive). 'Force.'