Buying A New House Pillows

"The current owners removed a number of walls and used soft, neutral tones to create a very spacious, open concept."

'It's all here in teh fine print. You're not covered against huffing and puffing.'

Dog Realtor

A house haunts a man.

Man with head in ground: 'I'm not burying my head in the sand, I'm doing the coal mining search myself.'

Autumn Leaves

'Before we bought this house and remodeled, this pool was septic tank.'

"Holy cow! What kind of crazy people used to live here anyway?"

"Uh-oh, I think a storm has turned our valuable ocean-front property into worthless ocean-floor property."

"But enough about this for a while, gentlemen. Let's talk about real estate."

'I'm just sayin', maybe we should look for another real estate agent!'

'Well... at least we know the basement doesn't leak.'

"I hope we can flip it before the tide comes in."

'Hello, I'd like to apply for some property insurance.'

'Phase Two : More of the same'

Clear construction agreements are important.

'This is my dream house alright, but in my dream it was about half this price.'

'Is there anything we can do to repay you other than to repay you?'

'Hardly worth blowing down.'

'Apparently, just because we took out a mortgage, the bank now expects us to make some sort of monthly payment.'

'And this is the sunken living room.'

'And in addition to a great room, this home has a cool room,super duper room and a totally awesome room.'

"Three bedrooms, living room, dining room, and a little room to negotiate."

"The listing said it's only one block from the beach!"

'I think we should make an offer on this house, what do you think?'

"We'll take it."

"Well, if that's your only concern, I suggest you simply make an offer conditional upon the removal of all monsters."

'No big thing, the builder said the house would do a little settling.'

'... And with a little imagination, the workshop and reindeer stables could easily be converted into additional bedrooms.'

'Would you mind holding my printer, my other phone is ringing!'

SOS-Another Property Tax Increase

'I'm afraid your house insurance didn't cover a wolf blowing it down.'

'You said to call back if the gas problem got worse.'

God Bless Our Asking Price

Jack and Ina build their dream house.