Buying A New House Gifts

"The current owners removed a number of walls and used soft, neutral tones to create a very spacious, open concept."

'It's all here in teh fine print. You're not covered against huffing and puffing.'

Dog Realtor

Man with head in ground: 'I'm not burying my head in the sand, I'm doing the coal mining search myself.'

A house haunts a man.

Autumn Leaves

"Holy cow! What kind of crazy people used to live here anyway?"

'Before we bought this house and remodeled, this pool was septic tank.'

"Uh-oh, I think a storm has turned our valuable ocean-front property into worthless ocean-floor property."

"But enough about this for a while, gentlemen. Let's talk about real estate."

'I'm just sayin', maybe we should look for another real estate agent!'

'Well... at least we know the basement doesn't leak.'

"I hope we can flip it before the tide comes in."

'Hello, I'd like to apply for some property insurance.'

'Phase Two : More of the same'

Clear construction agreements are important.

'This is my dream house alright, but in my dream it was about half this price.'

'It says right here in your contract, folks: 'Some settling may occur during the first year'.'

'Is there anything we can do to repay you other than to repay you?'

'Hardly worth blowing down.'

'And this is the sunken living room.'

'Apparently, just because we took out a mortgage, the bank now expects us to make some sort of monthly payment.'

'And in addition to a great room, this home has a cool room,super duper room and a totally awesome room.'

"Three bedrooms, living room, dining room, and a little room to negotiate."

'What the... they raised our property tax assessment 21 percent because we added a birdbath!'

"The listing said it's only one block from the beach!"

"We'll take it."

'I think we should make an offer on this house, what do you think?'

'... And with a little imagination, the workshop and reindeer stables could easily be converted into additional bedrooms.'

SOS-Another Property Tax Increase

'Would you mind holding my printer, my other phone is ringing!'

'No big thing, the builder said the house would do a little settling.'

'I'm afraid your house insurance didn't cover a wolf blowing it down.'

'You said to call back if the gas problem got worse.'

"Well, if that's your only concern, I suggest you simply make an offer conditional upon the removal of all monsters."