New Home Purchase Pillows

'I'm presuming by the amount of rent you're asking for, it includes a full-time butler, maid and gardening staff!'

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

"Would you like your custom blinds to get stuck on the left or on the right?"

'In retrospect, maybe we should have gone for the smaller fireplace.'

Bought one last year. Biggest mistake we ever made. He keeps putting the milk back upside down.

"When we remodeled, we decided to go with the granite countertop."

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

'And, as you can see, it is the perfect place to start a big family...'

'Sorry, but I have to evict you! I just sold your birdhouse for $ 100.000!'

'Carpets' 'Try before you buy'

'Look at the adorable garden gnome I bought today!!'

"Is it Humid in here or is it just me?"

'You can't beat the old style security systems!'

'First, build a chimney.'

"I've been working on the household budget."

"If there are nuggets in the sluice, let's dine out tonight."

"You should've called me sooner!"

"It used to be a window."

Bath Tiles.

"I can't remember if they turned me off or not"

'There must be a real estate development nearby.'

'Dang. We just finished paying for the new HVAC system.'

Pyramid sculpture.

'We bought this bolt hole to get away from politicians talking green politics.'

"We balanced our budget this month!"

"I told you we should have got the smaller screen."

"Hey! 'Made in U.S.A.'!"

"We have so many security cameras, the doormat says 'Say cheese' instead of welcome."

"They're only dummy home security signs, but I've sharped the edges so they'll cut you like a razor."

"You should really go home and sleep on it..."

Old water supply in new developments

Scientist with model of a house in a test tube.

"I think you might need a few more tools."

"I regret the day we bought a memory foam mattress."

"And this is the ultimate in low-flush toilets!"