Busy Life Phase Gifts

'I've got SO much on my plate right now, Steve - Ask me again when I'm fifty.'

"No, our company doesn't provide day care or maternity leave."

'I'm getting rid of a lot of crap as move into the next phase of my life...'

"I have a protein drink every day for lunch, because I never have to chew."

"Yeah, I've noticed it too: Young Master's smell has changed a lot since he's become a teenager..."

"This is a terrible table!"

"If you're going to drink, we'd rather you do it in the house where we can party with you."

The Finding Yourself Hour.

Cat shoes - for those who are too busy to do their own walking.

"Miss Caldwell, write twenty letters, make five Xerox copies of each, feed the whole lot into the shredder, and then, if it's five o'clock, you may go home."

"Decaf, Sid?"

'Your wife called while you were out, sir -- she loves you and wants to know where the hell you put the car keys.'

Because Daddy loves you, Sweetie, he can always spare a minute and thirty seconds.

"I can't continue working these hours...I feel as though I'm missing Michael's childhood...." "His name's Mark!"

"It's not really watching TV if I watch it online."

'With a boss, a wife and three teenaged kids, I haven't had much time to worry about international affairs.'

Give me whatever and make it fast. What? What do you mean? My wife gave me ten minutes of freedom for Father's Day. And I burned through three of those just sprinting over here. We have four children and a fifth one any day now. She's tired in bed so I'm on 24/7 kid duty. I haven't left the house, taken a shower, or gone potty by myself since 2015. My ear hairs are skinny secret babies that whisper to me at night that I may be going insane. So for Father's Day, my loving wife granted me ten flee

"Can I call you back? I'm in the middle of lunch."

A Real Working Vacation.

'Frankly, they're too busy to have pets: They have to pay somebody to walk me...'

Nude beach / Stripped of all pretense beach.

"Dad fell asleep while working on his computer, so I buried him in sand. Not because it was fun, but because I wanted to use his computer."

"Do you realise how long I've been waiting for you?"

I'm on Break.

'Now what are you complaining about? I'm spending more time with you and the kids aren't I?!'

"We should decide now whose career will suffer more once I give birth."

"On/Slightly Off"

"Me? blurring the boundaries between work and home? Go to your room at once!"

Buy a dog - the ideal pet for those too busy to mess up their homes themselves.

"The air I breathe is filthy..."

Working from home.

Earl thought 'Take Your Daughter to Work Day,' was very dumb. 'How about hot dog ice cream?! Or a hot dog already chewed, saving me time by not chewing it?!'

'Management are very keen to introduce family friendly policies...we're very keen on helping staff balance or with family commitments.'

"Only the most egregious offence is grounds for dismissal – like embezzlement, lying to you boss, or having a family."

"Listen to me, John. Tell them this is our final offer."