Business Writing Gifts

Boss at think tank says to employee: 'Your report falls prey to a trend we've identified as Consistent Repetition of Acronymic Piffle.'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Now that I have your attention...'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"