Business Update Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Dad, here's that update on my childhood you requested."

"I've just never worked anyplace where the 'alpha male' was a woman."

The Rubber Ball Company

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

"Damnit, executive-trainees don't have 'accidents'."

'Now this is exactly what I was referring to when I talked about 'scope creep'.'

"If I seem excited, Mr. Bolling, it's only because I know that I can make you a very rich man."

Big Shot/Bigger Shot.

"I love fast break business success."

Lemonade Stand With Free Wi-Fi

"On Wall Street today, news of lower interest rates sent the stock market up, but then the expectation that these rates would be inflationary sent the market down, until the realization that lower rates might stimulate the sluggish economy pushed the mark

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

'I became successful when my dreams changed from the Cary Grants of the world to federal grants.'

'Since we downsized the board of directors profits are up 300 percent.'

'...and the Nikkei closed down on the day.'

Businessman has Sterling Sign Shaved in Head.

'Stocks rose on news that '90% of success is just being there.''

Welcome to Yellow Pages, Vermont

"Can you keep a secret, Fred? The truth is, I've never had a clue what curve it is I'm supposed to stay ahead of!"

'What do you mean by, your people do not want to get in touch with my 'kind' of people?'

Intelligent dog.

Making The World A Better Place for Giant Multinational Corporations

"Yes very good, but when I say I need to see your business model before agreeing any loan, I mean your strategy."

'Never mind that you could have bought Microsoft years ago - I could have married Bill Gates,'

'It saves me the trouble of constantly asking myself 'What's my motivation?''

And the third quarter projection

"Dear, it's the financial news. Seat belts fastened, seat backs in upright position."

'What the hell is a win-win situation?'

'Do you want to talk to the man in charge or the woman that knows what's going on?'

Working at Home Half Day

'Turn up the air conditioning. Panting always puts us at a disadvantage during negotiations.'

'Today a ray of hope . . .'

"Today, State Street. Tomorrow, the State!"