Business Jest Enthusiast T-Shirts

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

"This might outwardly present itself as a losing quarter, but it's self-identifying as a winner."

The MBA Draft

"I've just never worked anyplace where the 'alpha male' was a woman."

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

The Rubber Ball Company

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'

"Damnit, executive-trainees don't have 'accidents'."

'You're developing a reputation as something of a cowboy, Henderson.'

'Now this is exactly what I was referring to when I talked about 'scope creep'.'

"If I seem excited, Mr. Bolling, it's only because I know that I can make you a very rich man."

Big Shot/Bigger Shot.

"I love fast break business success."

'We must grasp this new opportunity'

'Look Jefferson, much as I respect your emphasis of the informal approach...'

Lemonade Stand With Free Wi-Fi

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

"With this company, it's like 'Adventure Capital."

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

'I became successful when my dreams changed from the Cary Grants of the world to federal grants.'

"I appreciate your vision and work ethic but I have a budget. How much would it cost for your vision without work ethics?"

'I begin to question whether this startup ever had venture capital.'

'Since we downsized the board of directors profits are up 300 percent.'

Businessman has Sterling Sign Shaved in Head.

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

365 Lemonade Stand

Welcome to Yellow Pages, Vermont

Directors Meetings - Please do not disturb.

'It's not just a job. It's about being part of something bigger than yourself.'

'Looks like no cash bonus this year.'

"Could you fellas tell me if there's anyplace around here where I could find a fax machine?"

Self-employed.

"Can you keep a secret, Fred? The truth is, I've never had a clue what curve it is I'm supposed to stay ahead of!"

'What do you mean by, your people do not want to get in touch with my 'kind' of people?'

Intelligent dog.