Business Rivalries Fan Gifts

"This company isn't big enough for two anthropomorphic dogs."

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

"No, I'm not really a CEO. I just like to keep up with the Joneses."

"For God's sake, just split the last donut!"

"I need to catch you after the meeting."

'Let me guess - you lost a fight against a young challenger who has now replaced you as the company's alpha male!'

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, NOW HIRING, 'Okay, you're hired -- now, I want you to forget everything you learned in pre-school.'

Run, Mike, Run!

'I'm calling you out, account to account.'

"You can't quit my bridal fashion business. It says so in the prenup, I man the non-compete agreement!"

Fight on the top

'It soon became obvious, this stranger meant business!'

I'm gonna buy your stinkin' company...

Nothing Personal: Gifts for your business adversaries.

'What are we going to do about these grooming parlors...'

"This is Stevenson. He'll be your permanent wall of opposition."

"Gentlemen, I've decided to reduce our executive committee to three members."

"The old man wants to see you in his office now."

"We've met."

"Damn you Smith, you competitive bastard. . ."

"Hemple, you did the play-by-play of our meeting with Amalgamated - is the ball now in their court or in our court?"

It's the darkest day of my life. That's sayin' something what's up? A bit of a preface. As you know, Sadie Cohen is my arch nemesis. The dark lord to my Skywalker. The Gates to by Jobs, the Yankees to my Red Sox, the Playstation to my Wii. Get to the point. The carbs to my lean meats and veggies. Oh never mind.

Arm wrestling

Good morning, Rudy. What's so good about it? My awareness that Google and Apple, the two companies you idolize, are in increasing cutthroat competition. To think of the damage your two darlings could do to one another. The chaos. The drama. The Anguish! Plus, it's sunny. Bite me.

"Done." "But you only cut one hair!" "Well, if you wanted more done you should've gone across the street to Hairs-R-Us."

Carrot juice selling better than lemonade

'They're always like this just before a predatory business deal.'

'I'm warning you, Hannon: you're not the only one around here who can play hardball!'

Rudy, stop thinking about it. What? Stop thinking about how Google and Apple are competing in the phone business, music, mobile search. Do no obsess about how these two hip symbols of consumer friendliness are cutthroat businesses that could shred one another in the name of profits. I've make a list of things you shouldn't worry about. I take mild solace you used the phrase "mobile search."

GOING TOE-TO-TOE IN 2020

'I tried to meet the sales goal but alas! It fought like a mule and it bit like a crocodile!'

"Looks like the competition's getting serious!"

"I thought chess club would be less violent."

"They've agreed to the merger. The sticking point is who is swallowing who."

Father, if Google and Apple compete, to whom should I show allegiance? We are mere mortals. We cannot pretend to understand the meaning of this war. Perhaps it is like Zeus vs. Godzilla, or Terminator vs the Hobbit. Or even the force from Star Wars vs. the sentient tree from the planet Pandora. I have no idea what you're saying. My point. It's beyond our understanding. Computer Villa Customer Service.