Business Plan Critic Pillows

"I'll be very candid with you, Mr. Simmons. There's a disturbing lack of transparency in your proposal!"

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

"I think your going to need a business plan."

"People, the facts are inescapable. Any ideas on how we can ignore them?"

"I'm not the responsible party. I have people for that."

"We need to make some cuts. We’ll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

"Recent research has yielded some frightening results...It turns out we are a business team held forever on a presentation chart, locked away in a supply closet."

"The only thing I'm sensing is an entrepreneurial spirit."

"You know, maybe he's not the small-business man he claims to be."

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

'It's good, but it's not good-to-go.'

"When the going gets tough, the tough get a government handout."

"Budget Cuts."

I dread to think what he would have got had they made a profit.

"Workers have obligation to limit their economic demands to make the USA more competitive!"

"I'm looking for someone who's qualified to cover my mistakes."

"We need to start listening to our customers."

'Great shareholder report, sir! I admire the way you avoided any hint of substance.'

'For a C.E.O., he's very hands-on.'

"My new years resolution was to delegate more. . . so I delegated chasing unachievable targets with massively reduced resources to George."

"We're acquiring another company. That'll give you the opportunity to lay off hundreds of employees."

"I think the reason our international unit is performing badly is because our mission statement says 'think locally and act locally'."

'Our concept is simple. We intend to lose money on every sale but make it up on volume.'

'By now, you've probably noticed that a corporate culture which values candor and a free exchange of ideas comes with a price tag!'

'Callers will be answered in the order of their Fortune 500 ranking.'

At an office furniture store - chair $215, chair with exec $120,000

Business Advice

Chairman.

'Hang on a minute, Mother...why does your care plan include me 'popping to the bookies' for you?'