Business News Reporter Prints

'Stocks rise on news that there's no other place to put your money - after interest rates hit rock bottom.'

'Today the stock market was up on rumors that money actually can buy happiness.'

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Squeezing the Free Press.

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

Gay Times...

Press Freedom

Difference of Opinion

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

US v.s. Tech Giants

A little bird told me...

Man Reading Laptop.

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

'He was a great writer'

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

Turkey, present day...

'Hey!! What gives, there's nothing but a bunch of squiggly lines on this newspaper.'

Reporter #6: television.

Newspaper suicide.

"Reports that AI is planning a world takeover are greatly exaggerated."

"Wow. . . is that you, Mr Erdogan. . . Mr Kim Jong-un. . . Mr Putin. . . Mr Maduro. . . Mr. Bin-Salman. . . Mr al-Assad. . ."

'Stocks rose on the rumor that the market is mostly rumor-driven.'

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"