Business Jargon Jester Gifts

"Sir, the following paradigm shifts occurred while you were out."

'We had a leveraged buyout today, and I was the fulcrum!'

"Big news, honey. This afternoon they're going to let me sign off on something or other."

"Isn't, 'buzzword' a buzzword?"

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

'All in favor of just laughing it off, say ha, ha, ha.'

Dept. for Obfuscation - Out for periodic diurnal replenishment of nutritive substances.

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

We don't call these savage screaming fits. We call them confrontation verbal interfacing.

'I'm worried about all these unemployed. They're still on our payroll'

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

'We no longer call it 'hiring' - we now call it 'insourcing'.'

"We were unwinding, and Frances come unwound completely."

'There's an absence of leadership in this authority,we need to explore the possibility of thinking about setting up a sub-committee to look into it.'

'Don't go too far out on a limb - he'll send you to a branch office.'

'This is gobbledygook. I asked for mumbo-jumbo.'

"He has to put a fiver in every time he says 'fiscal imperative' or 'target orientated processes'"

'Thanks for throwing out your ideas, Perkson, but I have to throw them out too.'

"We’re leveraging knowledge of niche opportunities to maximize strategic advantages."

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

"Honey, my boss moved me upstairs – way upstairs!"

Now before I give you my report, I want you all to remember the word 'cycle'.

"Can you smell that, Jacobs? That’s the smell of me about to offer you a retirement package."

"It's a jungle out there. You'll love it."

Terms and conditions on the mount

"I kicked the idea of mowing the lawn into the long grass."

GDP and G&T.