Business Jargon Collector Gifts

"Shaded blue box on our org chart, meet dotted red arrow."

'There's an absence of leadership in this authority,we need to explore the possibility of thinking about setting up a sub-committee to look into it.'

"I thought a sea change was metaphoric."

"I'm as surprised as you are. I had no idea that the sweetheart deal would include an actual sweetheart."

"Good news gentlemen! We may even upsize!"

'We no longer call it 'hiring' - we now call it 'insourcing'.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

Gingerbread Business Classes: Think Outside the Fox.

He used to pass the buck, since being promoted to management he gets to call it delegating authority.

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

"We owe our success to teamwork. Without it we could never have grasped at so many straws."

We don't call these savage screaming fits. We call them confrontation verbal interfacing.

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

'I'm very worried that if we fail to introduce rigid protocols to maximise client gratification indices within acceptable costbenefit parameters to ensure enhanced margins...then we'll have missed the whole point of what Christmas is about!!!'

'He wants to hear the siren voices of the consultants.'

'This is gobbledygook. I asked for mumbo-jumbo.'

"He has to put a fiver in every time he says 'fiscal imperative' or 'target orientated processes'"

"Can you smell that, Jacobs? That’s the smell of me about to offer you a retirement package."

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

"I kicked the idea of mowing the lawn into the long grass."

Terms and conditions on the mount

GDP and G&T.

"We’re leveraging knowledge of niche opportunities to maximize strategic advantages."

'I'm tired - let's outsource dinner tonight.'

"Enhanced branding metrics drive robust solutions for scalable monetization of jargon."

"Miss Davis, bring me everything we've got on turning a two-bit hole-in-the-wall operation into a multinational juggernaut."

"Al could you unpack these mining issues for us whilst Joel drills down to get some detail on the parcel problem."

'Ladies and gentlemen, we are the best team money can buy. Now LET'S PLAY BALL!'

JIT -Jittery Inventory Turnover

'I was a tall, handsome prince, and an evil witch downsized me.'

"That wasn't daydreaming; I was internalizing my goal targeted self performance metrics."

"Herewith, we recommend the following: when you're up to your rear in alligators, it's worth remembering your original purpose was to drain the swamp...."