Business Etiquette Coach T-Shirts

That's a good question, Ossie... may I call you 'Ossie', Ossie?

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'

'Personally I think one great improvement to these tea dances would be some tables.'

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

"Ma'am, why don't you go ahead of me?" "Um... no thanks. Let's let this gentleman go ahead of us." "Oh, no... you ladies go right ahead!"

"Yoo hoo, the meeting's over here."

If bar stools were like playground swings...

'No high dives off the veranda, OK?'

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

'..and if you must yawn tonight keep your mouth shut.'

'Sorry, J.B., but I never merge after a first meeting.'

'I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid that's inappropriate.'

'Don't get up!'

'One year of obedience school and he still doesn't know which one is the dessert fork.'

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

"I will have the riesling, and a thimble of your best pinot noir for the little lady."

'Can you pass me the saw-dust when you're finished with it Darling?'

'High five Sir? We usually seal the deal with a handshake.'

"This time when they show us their latest acquisition, we'll gush regardless."

Office computer: 'Thank you for not using me for personal business.'

"Smoking or nonsmoking?"

Ladies' Game

"When offering the wine list, we don't say, 'Something to wash that down with'!"

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

"This is Jim's second speech on how not to make people mad by talking on your phone. I missed his first speech."

Gratuities: Fine presumptuous dining.

"Do we need change? That's a $100 bill for a $53 check, Mr. Presumptuous."

Politeness opens doors