Business Etiquette Coach Mugs

That's a good question, Ossie... may I call you 'Ossie', Ossie?

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'

'Personally I think one great improvement to these tea dances would be some tables.'

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

"Yoo hoo, the meeting's over here."

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

'No high dives off the veranda, OK?'

If bar stools were like playground swings...

'Sorry, J.B., but I never merge after a first meeting.'

'..and if you must yawn tonight keep your mouth shut.'

'Don't get up!'

"This time when they show us their latest acquisition, we'll gush regardless."

"I will have the riesling, and a thimble of your best pinot noir for the little lady."

'Can you pass me the saw-dust when you're finished with it Darling?'

'High five Sir? We usually seal the deal with a handshake.'

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

'One year of obedience school and he still doesn't know which one is the dessert fork.'

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

Office computer: 'Thank you for not using me for personal business.'

Ladies' Game

"Smoking or nonsmoking?"

"When offering the wine list, we don't say, 'Something to wash that down with'!"

Politeness opens doors

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

Gratuities: Fine presumptuous dining.

"I can never remember, how much do we tip?"

"I'm not trying to change you. That's the personal trainer I hired's job."

"Do we need change? That's a $100 bill for a $53 check, Mr. Presumptuous."