Business Etiquette Expert Mugs

Business relationships are tricky. While a handshake may not always seem enough, a hug is always too much.

Cult of Informality

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"Hipsters"

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'

'Personally I think one great improvement to these tea dances would be some tables.'

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

'No high dives off the veranda, OK?'

If bar stools were like playground swings...

'..and if you must yawn tonight keep your mouth shut.'

"Yoo hoo, the meeting's over here."

'Sorry, J.B., but I never merge after a first meeting.'

The awkwardness of one's first officeplace fist-bump.

'High five Sir? We usually seal the deal with a handshake.'

"I will have the riesling, and a thimble of your best pinot noir for the little lady."

"This time when they show us their latest acquisition, we'll gush regardless."

"Remember, I want to hear fifteen solid minutes of small talk before you ask for the Wi-Fi password."

'Can you pass me the saw-dust when you're finished with it Darling?'

Office computer: 'Thank you for not using me for personal business.'

Ladies' Game

"When offering the wine list, we don't say, 'Something to wash that down with'!"

Let's shake on it.

"Smoking or nonsmoking?"

"Do we need change? That's a $100 bill for a $53 check, Mr. Presumptuous."

'I realize this is your first sales call, young man, but 15 minutes is way too long to shake hands.'

"Guys, can you be quiet for a minute please: I'm on a call!"

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

"I can check again, but Mr. Saunders usually insists on the full wait."

"I need you to look at the big picture, Boswell. Not the little one of my trophy wife."

"So I sold him six with a 23% profit margin, so what do you think of that!"

"He must have picked that up at the kennel."