Business Computing Buff Gifts

"Guide us, Oh Database Manager!"

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

A fight in the Boardroom.

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"What's a debenture?"

"Meet the author"

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

CEO with SEO

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

Moses' Tablet

I'm a self-made man!

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

"Is it just a scary coincidence that the words 'changes' and 'unknown' both have 7 letters?"

After a day long meeting, the decision, as usual, is made in the hallway.