Business Buzz Word Lover Pillows

"It's called 'Merger.'"

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

"This is what we call a 'customer', or more accurately a 'potential profit centre.'"

Zoo. Diet Clinic. Hey everybody --- There's no longer an 800-pound gorilla in the room!

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

Strategic Planning Magnetic Kit showing words such as 'increase,' 'global,' 'leading,' and 'profitable'

"Come to my office. I need to cascade with you offline."

"I swear, Bob, if you say "I'll think about it and circle back to you" one more time...X"

"As your new CEO, I hereby change 'deadline' to 'soft squiggle.'"

"Mommy is having another baby. Let me assure you that any paradigm shift will be incremental, core values remain family-centric, and Mommy is committed to assimilation and building synergy."

"Here comes our first V.P., Mrs. Byers, now. Mrs. Byers is results-oriented."

'Worst case of buzzword overdose I've ever seen!'

'Don't you all feel energised, full of enthusiasm for the future!'

Before we begin, would somebody please bring Jenkins up to speed?

'This may be the first day of the rest of my life, but I've decided to wait for the second day.'

'Drive 'em wild with the sweet scent of net profits exceeding forecasts due to higher gross margins and cost-cutting.'

"Miss Davis, bring me everything we've got on turning a two-bit hole-in-the-wall operation into a multinational juggernaut."

Boss, I've got a new idea. And it will totally empower on-demand collaboration and idea-sharing. Not again. It'll synergistically maintain error-free catalysts for change, while progressively meshing stand-alone methods of reconceptualization. Look, I've already told you. You're not getting a raise, not matter how much business jargon you use. But an extra $2 an hour would dramatically generate error-free opportunities for a tax deduction. No means no.

The dream works when the team works

"Effective and CLEAR communication with customers is ESSENTIAL so we're going to practise drilling down to identify core interpersonal information transfer methodologies to accelerate a meaningful dialogue."

'Good work, I doubt whether any of the shareholders will understand it.'

Business Cliches

"O.K. Will somebody please bring me up to date?"

"This project is evolving well, going forward."

We all know we're up against a new ball game, a paradigm shift and a game changer, but luckily the cliches remain the same.

'My protocol ate your paradigm.'

"Nice speech. A blend of the aspirational and pie-in-the-sky nonsense."

"What are the prevailing winds?"

"I bring you ten faith-based initiatives

"No time for sound bites. Just give me a couple of sound nibbles."

This may help you understand my presentation.

'I'm tired - let's outsource dinner tonight.'

"Frank, you need to start thinking outside the box."