Business Buzz Word Lover T-Shirts

"It's called 'Merger.'"

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

"This is what we call a 'customer', or more accurately a 'potential profit centre.'"

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

Strategic Planning Magnetic Kit showing words such as 'increase,' 'global,' 'leading,' and 'profitable'

"Come to my office. I need to cascade with you offline."

"As your new CEO, I hereby change 'deadline' to 'soft squiggle.'"

"I swear, Bob, if you say "I'll think about it and circle back to you" one more time...X"

"Mommy is having another baby. Let me assure you that any paradigm shift will be incremental, core values remain family-centric, and Mommy is committed to assimilation and building synergy."

"Here comes our first V.P., Mrs. Byers, now. Mrs. Byers is results-oriented."

'Don't you all feel energised, full of enthusiasm for the future!'

'This may be the first day of the rest of my life, but I've decided to wait for the second day.'

"Miss Davis, bring me everything we've got on turning a two-bit hole-in-the-wall operation into a multinational juggernaut."

'Drive 'em wild with the sweet scent of net profits exceeding forecasts due to higher gross margins and cost-cutting.'

The dream works when the team works

"Effective and CLEAR communication with customers is ESSENTIAL so we're going to practise drilling down to identify core interpersonal information transfer methodologies to accelerate a meaningful dialogue."

'Good work, I doubt whether any of the shareholders will understand it.'

Business Cliches

"O.K. Will somebody please bring me up to date?"

We all know we're up against a new ball game, a paradigm shift and a game changer, but luckily the cliches remain the same.

"This project is evolving well, going forward."

'My protocol ate your paradigm.'

"I bring you ten faith-based initiatives

"No time for sound bites. Just give me a couple of sound nibbles."

"What are the prevailing winds?"

"Nice speech. A blend of the aspirational and pie-in-the-sky nonsense."

This may help you understand my presentation.

"Frank, you need to start thinking outside the box."

'I'm tired - let's outsource dinner tonight.'

'Was he downsized?'