Business Advisor Gifts

"Something about this proposed merger with Wickery Basket Company makes me nervous."

'Yes, that will work as an elevator pitch...if your potential client works in a skyscraper...'

Small Business Advisor - Networking

"The time management consultant called. He'll be a little late."

"As I mentioned before, Fassler, you'll never go anywhere until you start using 'impact' as a verb."

"Never delegate authority; delegate liability."

"Anything goes today: I want this to be a free and open discussion of my entrenched positions."

'You need a marketing strategy!'

"How do I set up a small business?"

'By now, you've probably noticed that a corporate culture which values candor and a free exchange of ideas comes with a price tag!'

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

"I'm not sure if that bill is correct or not, sir. We just throw a bunch of charges on there to see which ones stick."

Small Business Advisor - Sports Training in the Restaurant Business.

"And never forget that the best things in life are freebies."

Small Business Adviser.

The Great Divide.

'As business plans go this does have some short term merits...'

'Consulting services: know-it-alls wanted"

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

"We need the help of the smartest people we know."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"I told you not to hire that stupid efficiency expert!"

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

'The only investment I'd suggest is that you rent a van, then put your office equipment in and take it to the pawn shop.'

"Good morning Mr. Spencer - I am your Small Business Advisor..."

"As the saying goes: 'Don't bite the hand that feeds you.' As the salesman's saying goes: 'Don't laugh about the hand that gave you way too much for your lousy product as long as the hands' owner can hear you'."

Gold Medal for IOC boss Thomas Bach in the discipline of Brown-Nosing-Dictators-For-Money.

How to live on 25 cents a week allowance.

"I really feel our abstract mountain scape is affecting morale sir!"

"If a tree falls in the forest and no-one hears it.".... "Then your illegal logging business is a success."

"Money talks, but it's increasingly speaking Chinese."

Don'tBlameMe: Investment Counselors

"I don't need your business advice. You're my dad. Your job is to parent."

"We only invest in companies that still exist a year after running a Super Bowl ad."

'Greed, wrath, envy and pride closed higher today, while lust, sloth and gluttony showed losses.'